I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I love you.
Bad choice
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
