K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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