THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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