Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize