I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
