dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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