Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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