I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
