I wanna bring you to show and tell
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I forgot how hot balto sounded
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
it's great music for shaving your balls
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
