Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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