I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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