Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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