awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
