apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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