You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
