you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
