after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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