just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
