Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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