carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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