it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
