First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Randomize
