Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
