Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
