never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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