I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
