i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize