Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
