what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
