in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
