Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
