haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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