Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
