dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize