do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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