Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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