Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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