i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
