oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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