I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
