you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
