I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
