Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
