Already got asked if we're dating
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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