# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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