I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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