Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
