are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
