she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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