Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
