Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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