8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
