So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
