that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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