That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
