i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
