Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
