What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
