If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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