Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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