I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
