Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
