He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
