I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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