also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
