hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think my mom watched the whole time
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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