that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
