I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
