If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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