Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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