I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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