R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
