fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
