We're like a lot better than the average bears
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Couch. On fire.
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