people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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